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  • Alexander Inglis

'Writing is Like Sex'

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

I think this quote is fantastic but, sadly, probably sums up my attempts at keeping this blog up to date.

Another quote I think could sum up my laborious attempts at keeping a blog going is from Virginia Woolf. "Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.”

I’ve always liked writing but never thought I had anything close to the required ability to make anything of it - although that doesn’t stop me - must be an ego thing. Initially I wrote poems, mainly in The Doric and no-one apart from my family ever saw them for years. Although since ‘putting them out there’ one or two have been published. One or two have done well enough in competitions to keep my interest going (loads have bombed, languishing in the rubbish file on my computer).

So at the moment I’m still at the ‘doing it for love’ stage. I certainly haven’t come anywhere near the ‘doing it for money’ part of the journey, unless the twenty quid I got from Scottish Memories magazine for an article about Cocky Hunter, a second hand dealer in my home town, or the twenty quid for a poem called ‘Sailin’ published in The Leopard Magazine counts 'Sailin' was originally written to try to convince my wife I needed a boat. I like to think it worked, I have the boat to prove it. At the moment I’m probably closest to the ‘doing it for friends’ stage.

So I've decided to try harder to keep this blog up. Roy's dedication and application in working so hard to finish his hand written book should be an inspiration.

Here is Salin, my apologies to those who don't 'have The Doric' but I think it's fairly self explanatory.


Ah wint ti get a boat, it’s bin a lang ambition

an’ if Ah really stick at it mi dream micht reach fruition.

Ah’ve bin learnin’ a’ the bittys aboot knots and hystin’ sails,

foo nae ti get yer feet weet an nae fa’ ower ‘i rails,

Tae tack ‘n gybe ti birl aroon an’ even stop her deed,

an’ fin the boom is swingin’ roon foo nae ti dunt yer heed.

Ah’ve learnt ti get the boat upricht fin it’s bin capsized,

an’ that wee bit o’ knowledge is afa highly prized.

‘Cos fin yer in ‘I water, sweemin’ roon ‘I boat

yer winderin’ a’ the time if ye’ll really bide afloat.

Thir’s a lot ti learn an’ nae much time (Ah’m getting’ on yi see)

mi ji’nts are gettin’ stiffer and Ah sometimes hae sare knees.

So, afore Ah get ower al’ Ah’ll need tae get mare sill’er

So’s Ah can ging an’ get mi boat afore Ah need a zimmer.

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